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ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: Working Vacation in P-Town
By Seth Rudetsky
18 Aug 2008
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Varla Jean Merman
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A week in the life of actor, musician and Chatterbox host Seth Rudetsky.
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Greetings from Provincetown! James and I are sitting on the porch of our Bed and Breakfast looking out over the beautiful garden and hearing the nearby fountain splash...with our computers in our laps. That's right, this is a "working vacation." I got invited up here to play for Varla Jean Merman's annual concert called Classical Varla which benefits AIDS Support Group Cape Cod (http://www.asgcc.org). This is her fourth concert and it always raises a ton of money. Last night, I saw the show Varla is doing in P-town all summer and it was, as usual, hilarious. At one point a stagehand "accidentally" left a box onstage, filled with all of Varla's clippings so she was "forced" to read them. She showed everyone the New York Times review of her Off-Broadway foray Enough About Me and pridefully said that they called the show "insane." She then looked closer and noticed that the Times "made a mistake" and left the "s" out of the word.
Her opening number had her making an entrance as Mary Poppins (holding an umbrella) and immediately launching into Riahnna's hit song "Umbrella" (!) that then segued to "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."During the bridge of the song, she sang "Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle i! Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle i!" Then she started jabbing the audience with her umbrella singing: "Um-brella in your eye! Um-brella in your eye!"
Varla and I worked on a great piece based on gay history a la "Schoolhouse Rock" for LOGO TV that was supposed to recur but happened only once...not unlike all the Broadway show offers I thought I'd get after The Ritz. It's a half animated/half filmed musical version of the Stonewall Riots. Take a gander at the amazing song she wrote and the brilliant animation etc…at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS9jBmbdeX4.
Anyone that does a show in Provincetown has to have a hawker who strolls up and down the street handing out flyers. One day when I was visiting here a few years ago, Varla's hawker wasn't available so I said that I'd help out. I started walking up Commercial Street and as Varla smiled and waved and walked in front of me, I handed flyers to anyone who passed by. Varla had many fans fawning all over her, but at one point, two guys ignored Varla and instead came up to me to say how much they loved my show on Sirius radio. Varla immediately whirled around and told me, "You're fired!"
P.S., This Wednesday the "Project Runway" models are all guys in drag and Varla is one of them! How amazing is that! Go to www.Varlaonline.com for deets.
Last week I played the first two performances of Andrea McArdle's show at The Metropolitan Room (www.metropolitanroom.com for tix). Justin Paul is playing the ones this week while I'm in P-town and then I'm back for her final two performances Aug. 24-25. Andrea belts up a storm in the show, but the "patter" is mostly her answering questions I ask. I brought up Dorothy Loudon and Andrea said, "She didn't like most kids…but she liked me." Andrea said that sometimes onstage she'd fiddle with her dress or her hair and Dorothy pulled her aside after one performance and told her, "If you ever move when I have a funny line…you will never do this show again." Andrea was terrified and told us all that she learned her lesson. She brought up Carol Channing with whom she did Jerry's Girls six years later and said that Carol told her the same thing. I then pointed out the fact that she apparently didn't learn her lesson. She also told the audience that before Annie she did a Bounty Paper Towel commercial with Nancy Walker. Remember? Nancy was "Rosie" the waitress and Bounty was "the quicker-picker-upper." Unfortunately Andrea also recalled that Nancy felt the need to take a nap during the filming of the commercial…for six hours! And it was the same day as her father's college graduation. Bye-bye seeing Daddy graduate, Hello residual. She played a young Judy Garland in the TV movie "Rainbow" and found out that it was seen by...Liberace! He hired her to be his opening act and designed all of her costumes. She had never seen a bugle bead but she was suddenly covered in them. She also wondered out loud why he had high-heeled shoes in his closet that were such a large size. Remind me never to invite a 15-year-old over to my place without first locking my closet/drawers.
Monday night I performed at an Obama Fundraiser put together by Ryan Mekenian and when I showed up, I read the program and saw that I hardly recognized any names on the list of performers. I was thrilled to see Teri Ralston who was the original Jenny in Company listed. Of course, I've been obsessed with that cast album ever since I played Harry in tenth grade so I was psyched to see her perform. She sang David Friedman's beautiful song "Help is on the Way" and every time she sang that refrain, she pointed to the big Obama face on her T-shirt. Regarding the rest of the performers, I sat in my seat thinking that I'd try to be supportive no matter how clanky they were. Turns out, the talent on that stage was incredible! I was completely intimidated starting right at the beginning when Carrie Mannolakos sang "America the Beautiful." She sang phenomenally and after the show I approached her and decided to give this newcomer a tip on how to get her Equity card. Turns out, she's starring as Sophie in Mamma Mia!. Huh. Perhaps she has a tip for me. Then a young woman named Lindsay Mendez sang a new song Andrew Lippa wrote, and yet again I thought, "I must give this newcomer some pointers. After googling her, I realized she plays Jan on Broadway in Grease! And I've been obsessed this whole last year with how she sounds on "Mooning." What is my problem? The other person I was obsessed with was a woman named Shaina Taub who arranged the cool and creative back-up harmonies for "America the Beautiful" and than sang a great song about Halloween being scary, but election night being even scarier. She had the coolest, soulful, smoky sound and I assumed she was a chanteuse that's been playing in all the coolest clubs in town for years. Turns out, she's 19! Why do I assume that established Broadway performers are fresh off the bus and actual newcomers are aging jazz-tresses? That reminds me…I must write and give some professional encouragement to a certain C. Rivera whom I think has potential. Continued...
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