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ONSTAGE & BACKSTAGE: Ship of Dreams
By Seth Rudetsky
21 Jul 2008
The next day we stopped in St. John, New Brunswick, Canada (which was beautiful), and that night was the comedy show. I hosted it and hauled out my Barbra deconstruction (http://youtube.com/watch?v=FsMpdRXEB-M) as well as my deconstruction of Cher singing West Side Story. First of all, yes it exists. Secondly, it's not pleasing to the eye or ear. She not only plays the role of Maria, but thanks to an eighties split screen effect, plays Anita as well. And, thanks to the drag king technology, she also embodies the roles of Tony, Riff, The Sharks and The Jets. When I worked on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show," I told Rosie to surprise Cher with it as a funny "embarrassing" clip. Rosie asked Cher if she remembered filming it and… Cher said it was her favorite thing she ever filmed. Stunned silence from me. Then she recounted how she first filmed the role of Biff. Biff? Is there a musical version of Death of a Salesman?
Comic Jessica Kirson made her fourth appearance on the ship and told a joke I loved, specifically because I was traveling with my mom.
Q: What did the waiter say to the older Jewish ladies?
A: Is anything OK?
Brava! Julie Goldman from Logo's "The Big Gay Sketch Show" was the other comic, and the audience was obsessed with her bit about a vegan food market she had to go to when she was working as a "manny." She said it was so natural, it didn't even have floors…it was just dirt…and the workers would often scoop up the dirt and sell it…because it was delicious. Speaking of LOGO, they did a great interview with me about my audio version of "Broadway Nights" and then put together all this behind-the-scenes footage of the recording of the book with me, James, Juli, Richard Kind, Andrea Martin, Ann Harada, Kristin Chenoweth, Hunter Bell and Jonathan Groff. Watch where Jonathan gets church laughter and literally can't record two lines without breaking out into a cackle. Go to www.logoonline.com/audible for a gander!
Then I did a special type of show that I haven't done before on the boat. I had so many great ladies on hand that I put 'em all in a Broadway Divas Sing/Chatterbox show. First up: Carolee. Chatterbox-wise, she talked about how she did all the pre-Broadway readings, workshops and recordings of The Scarlet Pimpernel. She loved the role of Marguerite because of the great songs she got to sing and because the character was from France, and French was her minor in college. They made her audition for the Broadway production (rude), and then they cast someone else! Ouch! She did eventually get to play the role, and I had her sing "When I Look at You" to show everyone how great she was in the part. Then we talked about my Funny Girl concert for The Actors Fund, and she sang "The Music That Makes Me Dance," and the audience gave her a full standing O. Work! Next up was Christine Pedi, who did the brilliant Gerard Alessandrini version of the final song of the Anna Karenina musical:
Do ya hear that train comin' 'round the bend?/
It means the tale of Anna is about to end/
As I'm ground into a bloody mess/
'neath Ashkebad, Tblisi and Kiev Expres!
Christine was followed by Andrea McArdle, who recounted how much fun it was to go from playing goody-two-shoes Belle on Broadway to trampy drug addict Sally Bowles in the national tour of Cabaret. She sang "Maybe This Time," but instead of the weird fade-out ending they added to the revival, she belted the whole ending à la Liza. Andrea always has some crazy hilarious story about the seventies, and she told me that she was asked to be on "Dance Fever" when she was a kid and was super-psyched. She wanted to be considered cool, and Broadway was thought of as nerdy by her circle of friends. She showed up at the TV show ready to meet the hot singer they booked that week: Donna Summer? The Bee Gees? Gloria Gaynor? No, that week, because Andrea was there, they found a guest singer just for her . . . trying out disco for the first time . . . Ethel Merman! Poor Andrea. You can take the girl out of Broadway…but it'll always come back to belt at 'ya.
Finally, I brought up Lillias White. I asked her to recount her audition for Dreamgirls. She said that she went in to audition as a replacement for the role of Lorrell and sang "Ain't No Party" for Michael Bennett. There's a section that says, "Now it's been seven years and it don't take a smarty to realize that even though my man throws confetti in my face, it still don't make it no party." When she got to the throwing of confetti part, she mimed throwing it from her crotch. Michael Bennett then thought, "Hmm…I think she's an Effie." She came back and had to sing every single thing that Effie sings in the show. By the end, she had no voice. Regardless, Michael Bennett offered her the understudy to Jennifer Holliday in Los Angeles! However, Lillias didn't want it. First of all, she said, she didn't think it was right for her because she doesn't have that gravelly type of voice that people equate with Effie; secondly, she had a newborn and didn't want to go out of town; and thirdly, it was L.A., and she didn't drive! Michael assured her that she sang it great, she would definitely go on in the role and she would have everything she needed. She rehearsed for five weeks in New York playing Effie because there were a lot of new people going into the cast. Then she got to L.A., and Michael kept his word and got her child care and put her in a driving school. And, then there was a five-show weekend, and Jennifer couldn't go on. Lillias went on for Effie…and Michael re-invited all the critics to see her! Of course, she got amazing reviews, and I then asked her to sing "I Am Changing" because that's my favorite song on my Actors Fund CD of Dreamgirls. I still remember conducting it that night and hearing that crazy cheering after she sang "…nothing's gonna stop…me…now!!!!" Of course, all the R Family audience stood up immediately after her song. Brava!
All right, there's more to report…stay tuned for my next column.
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(Seth Rudetsky is the host of "Seth's Big Fat Broadway" on SIRIUS Satellite Radio and the author of "The Q Guide to Broadway" and the novel "Broadway Nights." He has played piano in the orchestras of 15 Broadway musicals and hosts the BC/EFA benefit weekly interview show Seth's Broadway Chatterbox at Don't Tell Mama every Thursday at 6 PM. He can be contacted by visiting www.sethsbroadwaychatterbox.com.)
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Carolee Carmello (l.) and Andrea McArdle (r.) joined Seth on the R Family Vacations cruise.
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